Deep Originals

I'm not feeling the usual way. Disturbed would be a good word to use here. As to what I am disturbed about, it's not known yet. I might make a guess though, and it seems that it's a pretty close guess.

Maybe that's why I'm disturbed,
knowing the reason why I'm disturbed

Attention to details.

It feels weird, knowing that those who know you so well are those who know you too well. That those you're close to are those you're too close to. Maybe it's just me and this weird way I've been feeling. It might be that time of the time again, where things just feel so out-of-place and out-of-control, so out-of-line, so illogical. My experience with this is that, yes, it is that time of the time again.

I've been drowning myself in vocal brilliance for this past few days. It's the unmistakable signatures in their voices that makes them stand out. The mystifying blend with strings and chords just makes your body pimply for a few seconds, making your heart race, drawing your breath away from you for just a split second. It just makes you wonder as to how they actually manage to pull off this act of brilliance, and not just pulling it off but making you stand up to applaud this talent.



And suddenly my head feels clearer.

You know what makes this night really nice? The cool wispy breeze, and the indulgence in this deep originals. Like I've always said, you won't know until you've felt it for yourself. And you'll never turn back after that, pretty much like me.

Come to think of it, I can't really remember how it all started. I mean, I never knew that this place could ever be a channel where my thoughts could flow out freely in the middle of night where everyone's halfway through their dreams. It feels almost like a dream to me, where I feel the light headed-ness and the peace we usually get in our sleeps. Desires, thoughts, everything flows out at this time.

And I can picture you
Sitting behind me
Looking at me
While I work on
My pieces of art
Full of love
Passion
Heart

I've put in my soul into this
I've put a lot of thought into it too
Most of all
I've put in a lot of me in this

Love, this is what love is. It may be a different love from the one we're all taught about, but it's love to me. Something you've never seen before.

And our stereotypical minds starts judging whenever we see, it's in our nature to have opinions immediately. Perception creation is the name of the game.

In my mind:

The perception of
Love
Beauty
Is tainted

And now
We can't see straight
We can't think straight.

We're slow dancing in a burning room.

And I think about the dedication made to me that night. The first ever dedication, and I felt it. Moved, touched. It meant something to me. To know that I'm in their minds. It meant something to me.

Lovemist Desire

Oh good heavens, at times like these I need a clear head. To think, to relax, to stop myself from thinking of stuff I don't need to think about. Get the picture?

There are a couple of songs in my head now, it's all meshed up with little niggling thoughts, and there's a fuzziness to all of this. I hear whispers in the background no kidding. And I'm definitely sure it's not my head screaming out loud. I just need a moment.

I know what I need now; Silence. Just nothing but pure emptiness, like a drum, Nothing, I want to hear nothing now. Not even the slightest of noise from the road, no chit-chattering, no music, no vroom-broom. Nothing, I want to hear nothing.

I'm visualizing something now. An empty one-way road off the highway, surrounded by nothing but golden crystals of sand shimmering under the vast blue sky with cumulus clouds in the horizon that has clay canyons surrounding the sides. Nothing else but me there, standing in the middle of the whole place, looking around, wandering, just being there alone. It feels as if I am there on my own freewill, as if I wished I was there. It feels as if I wished to be there, alone. By myself, I wished to be there by myself, with no one else. I wished to be there by myself with no one else allowed to be there.

I'm doing all this with my eyes closed, trying to master an art that doesn't even exist. I'm trying to this with my eyes closed so that I could really feel it without any disruptions to this visual spectrum. I feel totally moved by all this, it's as if my fingers had eyes of their own, with my own eyes seeing something else that isn't even there. It's making out something that I've never seen first hand. I'm forcing my eyes open with it being closed. I'm trying to do all of this nonsensical ranting under the watchful eyes of no eyes. It sounds crazy, I know it sounds totally outrageous, but while I'm feeling all this in my head, I'm making my fingers feel my way through each letter that I'm typing. I chose to type this way, I chose to see what I am seeing, and I chose to be alone in wherever that I am in. I chose to be alone, it wasn't by force, I chose it.

Is this the answer to an age-old question I've always had? Or is it a revelation that has been knocking on the door for ages but I've never been bold enough to see it? My feeling is that it's a revelation. It's a personal revelation, one that tells me more about who I am. And it's told me one more thing now.


It feels as if it's gonna be a long night. Besides meaning that in literal terms, I feel that it's gonna be a long night of thoughts. Thoughts I'm sure many would love to decipher. Too bad you'd have to do it alone, too.


It's been too long that I've done this
Too long to even remember what it feels like
So what does it feels like?
When these lips feel one another

What do I do, when you look me in the eye?
Do I stare back, gently
Or do I eat up those pupils
With these hungry full lips?

Devouring them, I'm thinking of it
What do I do next?

Do I magically let us come together
Or do I surrender myself to thy?

I'm feeling your lips on me
Pouting and devouring softly
How do I move these things?
I am feeling so lost

You'll have me to eat you
I'll do my best to catch up
And when I finally get the hang of it
I'll eat you up

Those lips, those lips
Those soft, soft lips
Wet and warm
Soft and gentle
I'm loving you more

And with each kiss
I'll lovingly miss
Your supple soft lips
As I get lost in your lovemist

I'm here in this rain
With you again
We're still locked
In this liplock

There's something slithering
In my oral cavity
I'm gonna taste it
to know what is it
I'm gonna taste you

I'm feeling you more
As we go indoor
Our breathing gets heavier
Our sounds get louder

We're all all happy
We're smiling and ecstatic

Then you whisper in my ear
Softly you whisper
Voice like whisps of air

"I'm loving you more"

And I whisper back
Gently in your ear trying to control my heavy breathing
Tingling your ears intentionally

"I'm loving you too"
"I'm loving you toooo"

The Town's Treasure

It's Tuesday. And I feel the need.

I've found new inspiration in the one thing that will never leave me, music. And he's just as wonderful as the rest.

No one's ever perfect,
but our imperfections make us
perfect for one another

I bet that the above line will draw much attention, but let's just keep it as it is, and not wander off too far. Sometimes, the answers lie just ahead, but we're too convinced that it is more than what it looks like.
And the sneezing goes well into the night, pieces of crumpled pulp lying all around.

It doesn't feel as light as it usually does, maybe it's the nose, but still, the music makes the place I'm in feel calm and soft. Goes well with the time of day I enjoy the most.
Let me tell you, you really don't know what it's like until you've realised it yourself. It's like nothing other. I know I keep reiterating this, but it just goes to show how much I enjoy this.

Battered and bruised, kicked and scruffed.
You came to me with eyes that killed.
Killed because it was too agonising to see how anyone
Could do something to someone like you.
For all I know
This may be the silver lining for you
To this cloud you call life.

I'll carry you in my arms
I'll even give you a name
One that matches your personality.
And I'll carry you to this little place
I call home.

We'll build you a sanctuary
A place that's warm and cosy
And shower you with all the love
And care that no one ever gave you
Cause at the end of it all
No matter what
All we need is a little loving.
No matter what.

And here I am, sitting, wondering, if it's even ever possible to love.
And as I sit here, it hits me:
I have been loving, the many things life has to offer me. Family, friends, Musical companions, awe-inspiring movies.

As I said, the answer lies just ahead. But I'm constantly looking further into the plains to find the answer.
There's nothing there in the plains, just space for more realisations.
&Haiku

Indirect

I might wake up in the morning regretting what I just did. It might just happen.
Oh wait, it's already in the morning.


Do you realise how quiet these nights are? Yes I know nights are relatively silent around here. But really, does anyone take note of this? I know I do.

It's little wonder why my posts are almost, if not all, written in the wee hours of the day. The beauty that lies within these nights captivate me, it bombards me with thoughts and feelings that so far nothing else conjures.
I'd just want you to see me when I'm like this. Definitely it would not at all surprising if you know me well, but still, I'd just want you to see me like this. And I'm sure, you'd see the importance of my night activities in my behaviour and in my actions that you would realise even you won't be able to make me feel this way. Maybe nights like this would be even greater if I'd spend it with you, but honestly, don't take it away from me. Don't take this away from me.

Keep me in check

I'm waiting to start my chivalry experience

You know what I'd love to feel right now? The feeling of lightness. I want my steps to feel like cushion, I want my head to feel like a feather, I want my words to float. I want to appreciate, I want to lighten all of this load, I want to be near a pier.

I'd love to have company now. Maybe it's best when I enjoy it alone, this insatiable appetite/desire for company hungers me, and only creation of words and phrases to express this feeling fills me up.
And now I'm at lost for words.

Fill me up big boy.

You looked happy, happy with a secret.
This life came so close to never happening.

You better fucking believe it.
You fucking better believe it.
You fucking believe it better.

Typical Cliché

Good things come to those who wait.
I'm sure,
and I'm in no hurry.

Cliffhanger Night

It's rather quiet now, just the right mixture to act as a catalyst. And it has been a few hours into the new year. Resolutions? Yes it'd be in my book.

Not the best of ways to kick away the old year in my opinion. Things have a way of working out though. Nothing's ever doom and gloom, there's bound to be a way out for everything.

Blessed to be fortunate enough to begin the new year. Looking at the positives, this freshness gives me an opportunity to start afresh too. I'd definitely won't want to waste my life away doing nothing.

Looking back, the year of 2008 was something of a wrecked train on a very uneven track. I'm sure many fell from their seats while they were on this train, I know I was one of them. But I'm sure, as much as it's a year to forget, for me it's a year I would want to remember. The old saying of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" aids in this explanation. And too, I'm looking past all the negatives to squeeze out all of my highlights for the year. Sure it wasn't much, but I'm blessed to have a few.

I've had the chance to meet new people that have impacted my life, I've had the chance to go through the most toughest times of my life, learning more in the process.

I've had the chance to see who are the ones that I can rely on, I've shared so much joy with these people. No names, but I'm sure you know who you are.

I've had the chance to feel the power of music, and to indulge in the high whenever I spend some time with myself exploring my music library.

I've had the chance to write with my heart on this site, and this is something that I'm most thankful for. I've had the chance to let our my feelings in ways only I know how. I've had the chance in making my "high-nights" the most important nights in my life.

I've had the chance to awe strangers with my words, and I'm very blessed for that.



It seems as though all my posts are similar, I try to make it as unique as possible, with ways I create naturally. Never would I ever recreate something in favour of anyone, and I'm thankful many can feel the right feelings in these writings.

To think of it, there are tons and tons of thoughts in my head now. I guess this happens on nights like this. It's magical, it shows me the magic in life. I may onlyhave a few hours, but at times these few hours really makes me feel like my whole day running around hasn't gone to waste. This few hours make me appreciate things so much more. Appreciate things in ways I can't explain, even though I do understand.

I got to admit that there are times where I've felt this life isn't worth living for, with the amount of shit going on. This made me lose my principles and beliefs and imagination and appreciation in life. It made me a hater for everything big and small.
But cliffhanger nights like this allow me to put myself back on track. Cliffhanger nights like this make me see the clearer picture all the shit has covered in front of me. Cliffhanger nights like this is the reason why I still have appreciation and love in my life.

So what's my new year's resolution this year?
Same as always; Keep having clifffhanger nights like this

You were the one I tried to draw

It's new found love, one I never had

It's now one I'll always have

We're in repair,
we're not together,
but we're getting there.