The Poisoned

So much in my head yet, words just seem to fail me right now. Thoughts are like a string of pictures and an array of languages only your mind can interprete. And when this interpretation fails, silence best describes the notion.
However, there are times where you wished this silence can be abolished with the words your heart truly speaks of. You moan, and you groan, frustrated that your vocabulary isn't as big enough as your heart truly demands from it.

It's a question I have that caught my eye not too long ago. It's a question, a simple question. The answer that the question provoked though, was much complex.
In all honesty, I thought it was a beautiful question.

"And right now, I beg to wonder if I would ever have the time to do things like this in the future. Sitting down, venturing far away. Doing all of this, in the realms of my head."

The question is,"When you close your eyes, what kind of a world do you see"?

Beautiful, isn't it?

I think it is.

What kind of a world do you see when you close your eyes?

"Well, I see darkness of course. Pfft," he said. Playful him.

"What do you see?" he asked me.

What do I see? I honestly don't know what I see. I see a world where the innocent are dying, I see dictators disguised as democrats, I see the rich becoming richer, robbing the poor thus making them poorer. I see a world where no one can be trusted, I see hustlers, I see looters, I see tyrants manipulating pure souls.

I see the devil surrounding us.

I see us making order out of the chaos we've created.

I see myself amidst all this lunacy, finding my way out of this and at the same time, finding myself within. I see walls that are closing my passage way, I see walkways that lead to oblivion, I see myself breaking because of all this pressure. I see myself degrading, I see me consuming myself, and I see the ravenous scavangers that await to feed on my soon-to-be carcass. I see the end of all things to come.

I see myself, eyes closed, hugging myself, sobbing, not fighting but succumbing to all of this. I see the clock as it slows down it's ticks and tocks, as I draw my final few breaths.

I see death, and it sees me.

I hear from far away, an acoustic guitar being played, a narrator summing up this whole journey, like it was really the end for me.

Would you have believed that it was really the end for me? Would you have thought that I went down without a fight? Would you have changed anything, if I'd told you that yesterday was my last day?

I do feel scared this will all go away, and I would have to succumb to reality.

This might have been the end that was planned for me. Good ending, don't ya think? Fantastic script, spectacular setting for all of the above scenes. A superb Hollywood-type "Judgement Day" film.

They just forgot one thing though,"No one plans my movie, except me."

You really had to be out of your mind to believe that I was gone forever. I was merely out on vacation.

I love doing this, I really do. I just don't want reality to take this one thing away from me. This is my escapade, and I love it.

Journey Through Nights Like This

Friday nights are great, ain't it? It's the end of the school week, and it's the only night I can stay up till the nearing of dawn, without having to worry about activities that I may have.

Nights like this is just nice, you know. You're dead tired, and in that sense, you feel this relaxation. You feel so calm because you don't move too much. The night breeze gently skims on your shoulders, and the music in our earphones just drifts you away. It drifts you, away......

Don't lie and say that it's OK. It's alright if there's nothing more to say.

You feel different doing this. You get this feeling that, the person you are right now, isn't someone who would usually appear. It's this deep person. It's the deep feelings that's running in you right now. Music carries you away, and goosebumps get their que from the lyrics.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame. It's too late for you to make me stay.

Lyrics like this, they sometimes just make you wonder. It makes me wonder on how just a string of words can trigger this deep emotion in me, emotions that don't really reveal themselves as often.

"That's why they call this moments special"

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place. And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving, yeah I'm leaving today.

And I, I'll never let you find me. I'm leaving you behind with the past, no, I won't look back. And I don't want to hear your reasons. Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me. And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay. I, I'm moving on from this place I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

An emotional rollercoaster. Music, calm mind, and yourself. Ingredients I need, to brew up nights like this.

Nope, it won't stop here. It won't.

You know why? 'Cause I don't want it to

I want to feel this long through the night, this beautiful night. It feels like I'm on a high. I don't want this to end. It's too nice to end. I don't want more, I just want it to be the same.

One song over, another journey begins

It's nice, when you see things in the light most people don't. You're not a freak, it's just this distinct feature in you that makes you, you.

Positivity. Looking at the beauty of simplicity, that's beauty. Beauty in it's raw form.

There's always something about simplicity. Many claim that they have that feature in them. Well, those who claim that they have it, they don't. Simplicity exists in those who don't even realise that they have it.

This realm we're in right now, life. It's beautiful, ain't it?

"It's not just the good things in life that makes it beautiful. The bad things make the good ones look better."

Embrace it, don't lose it. Life is beautiful.

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful. Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle. Ha la la la la la life is wonderful. Ha la la la la la life is meaningful. Ha la la la la la life is wonderful

And suddenly, you feel rejuvenated. It feels like positivity is flowing in you now. You suddenly have this guy singing in your head,"Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful."

Embrace it.

Another journey over, another one waiting to begin

You know, there's this thing about pianos. The way the first key strikes, you know it's gonna be something. It makes you feel this isolation when it's being played well. It's this soothing notes that seem like a lullaby for us older people.

This journey is different though. No lyrics, but the thoughts the words invoked.

And while gathering my thoughts, the happenings outside just seem to distract me. So quiet, you see the trees swaying from side to side. Non-violently, they just sway. The frail look was quickly eliminated, it's trees you're talking about.

You look around nowadays, and most people are running around with their hands tugging on their hair. All thinking about the same thing; Where is that person? That special person? Oh where oh where could he/she be?

You look at this, you feel as if they're headless.

Headless indeed. With no brains to think, and sense to make things out.

Why the hurry, honey? The day will come. Till then, just enjoy the moments.

The journey ends here though, for you. Mine? It's only just started.

Pass That Wrench

Que the violin, que the fucking violin..
And like everything, it breaks.

Raise the goosebumps

Forget the world, I'm your love
Lord, don't cast an evil on my love

A myriad of emotions.
Pictures play their parts.

They say a picture tells a thousand words.
Well, it hides a thousand words too.

My heart wrenches to see what we've become. Pictures of what was then, and the reality of what is now. From inseparable we've become irreconcilable.

It easy to point the finger, but I know I did my best.

Still, my heart wrenches to see what we've become.

"It's reality I guess," he said.

"Nothing ever lasts forever. That's why we should cherish ever moment we have."

Fucken shit

Intangible Feelings

Something's in the air tonight. Something. It's this musky scent that's creating all sorts of waves in my head.
Breeze blowing, ruffling the hair.

Leave it ruffled

It's just enjoying the moment you're in, knowing that no moment lasts forever.

This way you appreciate things more

The silence of the night just takes you away. It just does. There's nothing you can do.

There's nothing you would do to spoil this moment

Everything feels very still. The lack of movement gives an unknown feeling. This lack of movement encourages you to remain still.

There's no movement to jostle you

It's just the beauty of the night. Just beautiful.

Words can't describe it. It is understood through feelings

This is what you call, intangible feelings.

Follow In Sides

You'd think that, all this is easy right?

Would you be surprised if I said that it's not?

I know where I stand now. It's in a place I want to be.

This is my spot. It has been, and it always will be

Well, its easy, especially when it's natural.

As natural as it can be

Yes it's your spot.

You've achieved it, you're nearly there