January Poetry

Looks like my Firefox is now good for only one thing: Coming to this site. Cause Chrome suck when it comes to editing my text.

The first month of the year is coming to an end. In a way, what a month it's been. Experienced a lot of joy, a lot of laughter, and of course, my fair share of pain as well.

It also sees an induction to my visitors' list. Smile, you know who you are. And I wouldn't be so crazy to have allowed you in without a reason.


Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I am, but I wanted you to see this side of me. The side, not many know about. Of course, we all have our own facades. Some can't even recognise which is real and which is not. This right here, is the real deal. It's me, and everything my heart wants to say. My mind just shuts off when I'm here.

I'm not gonna use this space here to talk to you, because I always believe what's said in person is far more valuable than what's said behind a screen. Because we are all animals, we all have feelings. And to see that look on someone's face when you tell 'em something, that's just priceless.

I'd love to know what's going through your mind right now while reading this. Cause essentially, that's what I've always been trying to do. I do not know whether I've been successful thus far, but I do know what's beating through that heart of yours.

Your heart, it's like a myriad of colours, a labyrinth of doors where a tiny little person runs riot, doing whatever she wants. And for most cases, it's your heart that rules you. You dislike thinking that's why you do as you please. Cause thinking gets you worried. And it gets you sick, and sad, and worried. It gets you irritated and frustrated, and you've got so much of frustration but you're so afraid to show it because you're so afraid to look silly.

You're amazing that way. You're eccentric, and you were surprised at how I was handling your eccentric side.
It hasn't changed. For me, it hasn't. I still feel the same way when you do things. I just giggle like that little boy, who's amazed at your artistry. And I won't change that, not for anything in the world. Cause you're beautiful that way. Yes it has caused me confusion, cause you can be like a sail in the sea, going where the wind blows. And right now, it's causing me a little pain. But it's nothing compared to what makes it wonderful: You.

I just want you to see, that things can work out. I just want that little girl in your heart to hear me, and feel my touch when I say we can work things out. Don't cover her ears, and let her off her leash. I feel her willingness to try, to go to that unknown door in your heart and brave what's behind it. Cause it'll only take a second for her to say,"at least we tried".

Brave the 7 seas with me, take my hand as we go through this unknown journey. I, will never leave you lost. I, will never leave you stranded. And in return, I only ask of you to give this an opportunity. Cause we said it on the last day of last year, that this year would be something special. I'm still holding on to that, plus the millions of memories we share.


While you sleep tonight, I wish to whisper to your heart. That I could have anyone right now, but the only one I wish to have, is you. And I wish to whisper into your ear. That you make me go crazy more than anyone else. And I wish to hold your hand, your soft soft hand, and place it on my cheek, whispering. I miss your touch.

you're so beautiful, so damn beautiful.

Torn Between Beliefs

"Maybe I'm too used to being in a solitary state. Maybe I'm not used to being around. Maybe."

It's perhaps, complex, when it comes to understanding my own feelings. This head seems to be able to delve into thoughts and ideas that may sometimes be seen and perceived as, bizzare. It's usually outta the box, when it comes to my thoughts. But sometimes, even for myself, it can be quite unusual.

I guess, this is the way I work. How things work for me. That, being simple is simply an illusion; A wish of sorts. A wish that I beg for at times, to come true. Because it's a tendency to just dive into details instead of looking just on the surface. And it's a deep sea I see, a myriad of details and emptiness and mystery. It's like diving into the unknown; You see so much you've never seen before, and you see so little of what you're familiar with.

It's like a new world for me every time. A new universe, that unravels. Like the great explorers unravelling a mummified corpse.

"My Dreams"

I've been encountering strange dreams of late. Of things I can't fathom, of things that are haunting. And strangely, some of it have religious connections and connotations attached to it.

I don't know. It might be a spiritual calling of sorts, but these callings are very strong. They are also very wrong; They're wrong in coming to me, because it's religion that I always try to steer clear of.

My deep belief is that religion is too commonly used as a reason, or to put it bluntly, an excuse, when things cannot be explained in a human way. Sometimes, it's reasons are really just staring right at you, but people misuse the perception that everything is "God's plan".

I just can't agree with that. Maybe I just don't want to, but I can't put myself to such a level where I'm waiting for a miracle to happen. Things happen because we make them happen. Everything emerges from something. Yes I have seen great things happen that even I can't explain, but I always feel that using the name of the Almighty must always be the last option, when all you can ever muster and come up with fails.

We have created this prophecy. The human race has created this world and the place we live in, but we do have things to be thankful for. Things that, we had no part to play in.

I don't know what my dreams are telling me. Maybe I don't want to submit to them. Maybe this is the live that I'd live. A life where, I'll always be torn between beliefs.

"If there was really a God, and if he really does plan everything, why then do we have heartbreaks and disasters; Kids with polio, innocent people suffering from poverty, floods and natural disasters destroying homes. Is it his decision to let people suffer while the rest have a beautiful life?"

"If there really wasn't a God, would places like the Andes and breathtaking Alaska exist? Would we, as humans, not have a spiritual side that we turn to at times?"

At least I still have my beliefs. I pity the poor souls who have none to live by.