The Poisoned

So much in my head yet, words just seem to fail me right now. Thoughts are like a string of pictures and an array of languages only your mind can interprete. And when this interpretation fails, silence best describes the notion.
However, there are times where you wished this silence can be abolished with the words your heart truly speaks of. You moan, and you groan, frustrated that your vocabulary isn't as big enough as your heart truly demands from it.

It's a question I have that caught my eye not too long ago. It's a question, a simple question. The answer that the question provoked though, was much complex.
In all honesty, I thought it was a beautiful question.

"And right now, I beg to wonder if I would ever have the time to do things like this in the future. Sitting down, venturing far away. Doing all of this, in the realms of my head."

The question is,"When you close your eyes, what kind of a world do you see"?

Beautiful, isn't it?

I think it is.

What kind of a world do you see when you close your eyes?

"Well, I see darkness of course. Pfft," he said. Playful him.

"What do you see?" he asked me.

What do I see? I honestly don't know what I see. I see a world where the innocent are dying, I see dictators disguised as democrats, I see the rich becoming richer, robbing the poor thus making them poorer. I see a world where no one can be trusted, I see hustlers, I see looters, I see tyrants manipulating pure souls.

I see the devil surrounding us.

I see us making order out of the chaos we've created.

I see myself amidst all this lunacy, finding my way out of this and at the same time, finding myself within. I see walls that are closing my passage way, I see walkways that lead to oblivion, I see myself breaking because of all this pressure. I see myself degrading, I see me consuming myself, and I see the ravenous scavangers that await to feed on my soon-to-be carcass. I see the end of all things to come.

I see myself, eyes closed, hugging myself, sobbing, not fighting but succumbing to all of this. I see the clock as it slows down it's ticks and tocks, as I draw my final few breaths.

I see death, and it sees me.

I hear from far away, an acoustic guitar being played, a narrator summing up this whole journey, like it was really the end for me.

Would you have believed that it was really the end for me? Would you have thought that I went down without a fight? Would you have changed anything, if I'd told you that yesterday was my last day?

I do feel scared this will all go away, and I would have to succumb to reality.

This might have been the end that was planned for me. Good ending, don't ya think? Fantastic script, spectacular setting for all of the above scenes. A superb Hollywood-type "Judgement Day" film.

They just forgot one thing though,"No one plans my movie, except me."

You really had to be out of your mind to believe that I was gone forever. I was merely out on vacation.

I love doing this, I really do. I just don't want reality to take this one thing away from me. This is my escapade, and I love it.