Touchy Feel

This is something honest, this is something true. A startling revelation. Of me feeling that, I'm starting to lose touch of this place here. That's I'm starting to lose touch of the one place that keeps me sane, that keeps me in check, and that one place that encourages me to continue oozing contents of creativity and truth. This place, I'm talking about this place here. I wish I could hug it right now. Cause I've missed it. Cause for the past few weeks, I've felt out of touch with everything that's "me". That, I was losing myself to the chaos and mundane activities of the outside world.

Thankfully though, I've regained consciousness. From the cycle of life, and the dullness mine was filled with. I swear, you don't know how good it feels to be back here. Let it be known. Cause the world that I was in, really, it was driving me insane. The constant lies, fake smiles, and not-genuine relationships. Naivety is what it really is. However, I choose to be oblivious towards it now. Cause as much as this is what the world really is, it's not the world I want to be in. So you know what? Fuck ya'll, all of ya'll. This time, not with a smile.

As mentioned, things have been very chaotic of late. Both internally and externally. It felt as though I had lost touch with me. That all the mess, and I couldn't handle it all. I did manage to overcome most of it, but in the process I got tangled in everything. And the more I did to untangle myself, the more I tangled myself. To the point where I couldn't tangle myself more, to the point where the only thing I could do was to start untangling.

And untangle I did. Slowly, and it consumed me. Drained me more mentally than physically. Drained nonetheless. It was only gonna drain me while I worked out of it, however to the point where I just felt nothing inside. Hollow, empty. Where I didn't have the energy to even afford a smile. A truthful one, that is.


I have been busy, so for tonight, I'm unwinding. And what better place to do that than here, while rewarding myself with a nice glass of scotch. Let me tell you, there's no place like here. I mean it.


To me this has been a very exhausting journey. At the same time though it has taught me things. Things that I would learn the hard way. Honestly, it's the only way I learn by. And once again, it's told me more about myself. Burdens have been lifted, dues, well most of it have been met. And now, I'm on the receiving end. It's not as bad as people think, it's just that you would have to deal with sympathy more than anything.

It's also made me have more belief in myself. Things have not been the same recently. A difference in mentality, but in a good way. Tougher, more resilient. The old cliché of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger applies here. I think it always does. Now, I've regained my belief in promises. So fuck the old saying that it's meant to be broken. Promises are beautiful. I promise you that.


Honey, fuck me. I'm high. High, high in the sky. And oh, I love John Mayer. He's fucking amazing. And money, or the lack of it, isn't gonna be the ultimate deciding factor. There are much more things more important than money, I know that for a fact.


I think I've mentioned this a couple of times, and each time I do I get more serious about it. My book, and you know what turns me on? For you to see me do this while you're on my bed. Just watching me, drifting in and out of consciousness, letting my juices flow. Cause when I'm done with the entry, you'll be all high too. And you'll be romanced like never before.

"Romanced"

There's nothing more exciting
Than the thought of you
Watching me
On my bed
Doing this.

While I jump into
And out of.
The real world.

All the while
You're watching me
Work my magic,
My imagination.

You can't wait for me
To end this entry.

So that you can have me,
All to yourself.

And we'll romance
Like no man, or lady
Has ever done
With you

Cause, you're beautiful
You're beautiful
It's true.

Cause, you were the one
I tried to draw.

You are such a turn on
I never want to leave.

I'm coming.
You are, too.

The me-you this-that jibber-jabber. What a beautiful night though. A beautiful night, nothing more I could ask for. While the town's dead, and no activities.
&Somehow I can never forget you, and your smile. I just feel we could have something more. Could. Cause you're a peach.
Your smile your smile, it's your smile. &Exactly one year ago, I wrote it and told you about it here. Do you remember?

I'm back, and I ain't going nowhere. Cause I missed you too much. And nothing's gonna take you away from me. Cause you keep me in line, in sane. Cause I love you.

You're beautiful, it's true.