Identity

I could have this on repeat till I get sick of it. And I have this feeling that it'll be a while more till I do get sick of it. A while as in, still a long way to go kinda thing. It's providing me with something I need now; A sense of calm. After a day full of activities and thoughts. More of thoughts than activities. But still, an eventful day.

I guess I've understood myself better. What an Indian man calls "Hanzei" I call it me being my normal self. And this "being myself" moments has really made me see things clearer. It's not as if things were cloudy before; It's just that everytime I have this moments I see things in a clearer view. I see things in a way I would understand it. And this way of interpreting has been helping me solve one of the biggest mysteries. My Identity.


I have been really busy these few weeks. Away from my love for such a long time, today I knew that I had to come back. It's also the last day today. What can I say? It's been a new experience. And it's taught me a whole lot about myself. Nothing else's better than that.

I have really learnt a lot from this whole experience. The people I've met, the conditions I had to perform in, the whole experience has I think, benefited me. Monetarily and in experiences.


I've learnt that I usually miss out on things many people already knew about when it was time for people to learn. I guess it was my thing, my habit and a trait of mine to not follow the crowd. I was never, and still am not one who is into fads. Goodness knows how many there's been, fashion-wise to social-"norms". I was never the one who would do something because the rest were doing it. It puts me off even more when I learn the reason why people are doing is because the rest are. It makes me not wanna do it more. And it's usually when the fad is dying down that I gain some interest in it. And like many things I have never encounter, let's just see what and where it brings me to. I love this mindset a lot. Pardon the self-praise.


I think I'm hallucinating. It's the ambience and the music .

"Water Lust"


You know what.
I just wanna bathe you
While bathing me.

Cause you're so beautiful
And I'd like you to surrender yourself to me
In the shower.
So that I can treat you
The way I love you.

Cause I love you I love you
There's nothing you can do
Except
Love me the way I do
Cause I know you'll do

~end~

There was a chance. But I knew it wasn't time.
I belief it'll happen one day.
And I'll know it when I meet you.