The License

I'm exhausted, drained. And it's finally over. And it's gonna take a while for me to get used to the taste. The effects of it? I'm never letting it feel normal.

I've been a bucket of nerves of late. And it's been showing. From trembling feet to shaky hands, to perspiration, from uncontrollable outbursts, to uncontrollable outbursts. I think the latter has been the most detrimental.

And to think that I screwed things up, even after I've been in a situation similar, only to know that unlike others I don't learn from my mistakes. Agitates me, it agitates me. Idiot. You bloody idiot.

I think that the reasons have been read out before. It's exactly the same things, and that, I got too deep when I was only licensed to skim the surface till I got the green light. Impatience, let's face it I'm not the most patient. And this fluids I'm sipping on is heating me up. Beads of sweat rolling down. I'm warming up when I need to cool down. It's not really working for me right now.

I honestly don't know who comes here. I do know a handful. The beauty, or agony, of it is that I do not want to know who comes here, but I do want to know who comes here. And that, hints dropped here are like the Hiroshima bomb; It explodes in your face and it has a long term effect on you.

I can't stop my face from distorting, it's a beginners' identity. I'm spacing out. I feel it coming.

Today has been a draining day. And I am tired. And I am sleepy. You know what happens to me when I'm sleepy, don't ya?

I need to get a good night's sleep. To know at the back of my head that I have one less worry to worry about. It has been a major issue of late, the importance of it was insurmountable. And I'm proud that I done it, so it's not a headache now. It was never supposed to be one, but financially it was a strain. And now, it's over. A new beginning is over the horizon.

I've got appreciation in me. And that, I appreciate many art form. Of course I do have my restrictions, but I try to explore as much as possible. And that, my appreciation and attention to detail is supported by my many choices. And that, even flawed I do my best to see the beauty of it.

It's funny isn't it
Being mentioned by someone
Who barely knows you

And I'm not doing it here
Sometimes I wonder why I don't think in certain situations

Fuck
Everything's so fucking green