Deep Er

I got the title for this entry even before I started typing. Kind of a rarity for me. Oh well, everything happens at least once.

It has been pretty shitty for me lately. Even using the word shitty is me being quite nice, but I know I've gone through worse. Things have been tearing me up lately, and you can't stop thoughts running in your head, well at least if you're me you can't. It's been very voluntary really, the mind just goes wandering off like a beagle chasing after a scent it picked up. This might honestly be a reason why I like the beagle so much, it's a dog's reflection of me.

Things have been bad, it's been pretty bad. It's got me all torn and tattered everywhere, the mind's not thinking straight and the body's been behaving differently. It's stress, that's what they call it these days. And I am bloody stressed. Sometimes home sweet home isn't the nicest phrase around. And an apple a day doesn't really give you a healthy heart to work with everytime.

I think what's worse than missing the feeling of being at home is when you're at home but it feels nothing like it. It's supposed to be my sanctuary, now it just feels I'm being hunted down in an open savannah.

I'm so filled with different emotions right now it's hard to point out exactly how I'm feeling. Sadness, anger, despair, anguish, pain, both types of pain. And most probably of all the people now I'm the one that needs to get away most from all this for a while at least.

One of my darkest entries, I'd have to admit. But hey, everything happens at least once.



I do have funny thoughts, it has to be said. I can go from point A all the way to Z even without any link on how I got there. And that, it has been on my mind for a while now, but it's something I'd love to share.

It's been mentioned here many times by me, on how much I've changed, and how my outlook of things have changed, and how I've begin to approach situations I face everyday. No doubt we all change, we are who we are, and I'm glad I've changed in ways I would be proud of.

I think the word appreciation gets mentioned a lot around me, be it by me or others. And I think that's the biggest of all changes I've had. I've began to appreciate the things that not too long ago I would have overlooked. The finer detail, the fine imprints, the watermarks. Not too long ago I had this thought that only good roles in movies deserved awards. You could have seen how baffled I was at that time when I saw someone being rewarded for a brilliant display of villain-ism. The lesson here? Even the bad guys get rewarded too Ravin.

I guess this would be the perfect explanation for my title. And this would be the perfect example on how, I go from point A to Z without any coherent links whatsoever.

Just a thought I had to myself while having a quiet moment. This was when I wanted some peace knowing at the back of my mind I'd be writing here a few minutes later.

Not everything in my life needs to be chronicled here.

Touché monsieur