Tides

I've been using this word quite often here. Little did I know it was not what I thought it was. The word describes my intentions partially, but on a whole it is something more sinister in a way than I thought it was.

Issues, I've been having them lately. Loads, loads of issues. And I can't help but to admit that it all started with misunderstandings. Slowly it began eating into me, as things usually do, and one by one everything repels away from me. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm a magnet that meets others of the same pole as me, and that I repel away from them as much as I would have liked it to stick. And the worrying thing is that, after a stark realisation I've had, these issues started with me. And that, worryingly, I have issues with myself.

Puzzled, I've been really lost these few days. Lost in the realms of my head, and we all know how confusing it is up there. It's this sick thing in me that has me always believing a problem starts with me being the center piece. Urgh, I find it so horrid that I can't push this away. I do know that I'm not necessarily at fault, but, I don't know. I'm just puzzled as to why I'm worrying too much about things that seem senseless. Fuck you know, fuck.

I've been at war with myself lately. Just seems as though I can't control certain things. And that's a weakness. The irony is that, my strengths, when turned upside down, are my weaknesses to. Fuck you it's about me now.

Looking at the numbers, it seems as though I'm being thought of lesser and lesser. LATTLAY FOTTFOY ain't seem to be working here. Maybe it's because I've been expecting it from the wrong people.

I'm not at fault. I reacted the way anyone would, and I've accepted it. It's high time you accepted that fact too, and stop making me think I'm over-reacting. Yes, I'm talking about you. No you, not you. Yes, you. You. Fucking cunt.
Ukulele anyone?



I'm sitting here, waiting to see if the stars would ever appear tonight. Maybe they've gone to sleep, it's tiring being there the whole time the sky's lightless. These sessions, they act like therapy for me. They act like so many things for me. And like many nights, it's now acting like therapy for me.

Fuck man, my sessions aren't sessions till Perfect plays. And last night, happiness was shared. More to come, we'll see where this takes us.

I can't wait I honestly can't wait, to lay us a mat, and lie on it, as we see nothing but the sky, and hear nothing but ourselves, and feel nothing but happiness shared. Cause happiness is best enjoyed when shared. Ain't it true hon? You agreed last night.



I've been accepting the way certain things are, and that, it's been of great help to me. Instead of running around seeking for answers, it's been peaceful sitting down and letting yourself know that some things are they way they are, and that it's the natural order of things. This sense of acceptance, it feels liberating. To not fight for everything, and just accepting certain things the way they are. Instead of wondering why the Mona Lisa was smiling, just zip it and appreciate the way her smile was duplicated in oil and canvas.

I feel that, I've been showing a greater sense of appreciation for things. I do still have certain notions in my head, but overall, it's a stark contrast comparing myself now and then. Now, I'm feeling serene. Then, I was a mess. And at times, it's nice to just keep mum. Just nod in agreement, not everything's worth a debate. It's not worth defending myself now.



I can't believe I just can't believe the things I'm hearing. Tunes of affection, hardship and labour. Fuck man. How do you do it Sir, just how do you do it? You don't know you just don't fucking know how much I envy you.
It was a mistake sharing with you my love, it was a disgrace. Because neither did you appreciate it, you never did reciprocate. You my dear, are a fucking disgrace. I thank myself for not getting to know you. Yes, I'm talking about you. No you, not you. Yes, you. You. Fucking cunt. Should have fucked that cunt.

"An Account"

We were romancing
Noon
No one was in

It was just me & you
On the bed
Sheets covering what's private

We were under the sheet
Our privates I mean
And our hands were moving under the sheet too

You climbed
Not up a tree, but on me
You went crazy

We were still young you & me
You were young and crazy
I was young and high

You gazed into me
I felt you looking through me
Your eyes were caressing me

More, more, it went on
Your eyes, even druggies will never show that kind of high
And my eyes, let's say what's mine was yours

You came closer to my ears
Nibble, now now I didn't know you were a mice
You had magic mice tongue

Then your voice came closer to my ear
At first I couldn't make out what the words were
But after repeating, the heart went into overdrive

Whispers that turned me on
It was the words that made me high
You were pleading me

I want you
In me

I want you
To feel in me

I want
To feel you in me