Bitter Tint

Transparent; That's what everyone is to me. Every other person I know, or have seen before, has been seen right through. Because, I see through things, antics and attitudes, the hidden gestures. Some, are more tinted than others. Others? The majority of them are like reading a brochure; You immediately know what's it about.

A gift, apparently. I don't know, whether it's a gift, or a talent I invested a lot of time and effort in making it grow. In the romantic way, I'll say it's both. And right now, the investment seems to be paying off. Not in full, I don't want that. I'd like this to secure me till retirement, just until my last breath.

In all honesty, it sometimes is quite a disturbing thing, to be able to read through so easily. Cause I know what to expect, and it takes out the element of surprise. It's like, I know your next 2 moves. And you can't fool me, cause I know that's the way you work. Predictable, so many of you are. And sometimes, I really wished it wasn't as straightforward. To me, at least.

But yes, there are times where the element of surprise really does catch me. Unawares', and it really is sometimes a splendid feeling to be able to be surprised.


I have been both expecting and surprised recently. I could see that something was not right, and as mentioned in the earlier works, it proved to me that I wasn't mentally deranged. It however did surprise me at the magnitude of it all. The whole posse was against me.

Felt terrible, I felt horrible. Mortified, at how quickly things changed. At the dictator's seat buttons were pushed and the verdict was given. And how quickly, the puppets nodded their heads in agreement.

Pardon my naivety, but aren't we all at least a little old enough to be thinking for ourselves, and of course, brave enough to clarify certain issues before passing judgement? Well, unfortunately yes, I was being naive. And yes, I have totally overestimated. The maturity in all of y'all. And Dear Dictator, you've once again shown the snake in you. The hissing prevails!

The sad thing about all of this? It has happened before, to me yes it has. It's both sad, and helpful. Because being in the position I am now, as I was before, I felt I was able to comprehend the situation a lot quicker. And yes, it certainly doesn't feel alien at all to me.

I do think still, that's it's a pity. But every end, as Mitch says, is a new beginning. I don't know if it shows a sad reality that, I will forever be someone who's misunderstood. I have a feeling it does, and yes it somehow compels me to, keep a distance. I don't know, let time reveal all this.

All I know is, I'm free. And yes, all I know is, I saw this coming. Sensed it, I'll say.