Te Amo

I'd like to say, before I begin, that the title is mostly down to the song I'm listening to. A catchy song, but it hardly has any connotations attached to it. Nothing that I wished for, anyways. Anyways, I have nothing to prove.

It's been a while since I've been here. Trust me, this concerns me quite a bit. And yes, I have been figuring out an answer to it. 

I have found an answer. And it has to do with my recent writings.

Things have been strange of late. Really lucid dreams. Surreal happenings, and of course, who could forget what happened that fateful night? I can't. and I have the marks to prove it. 

 Gosh, sometimes I think that my writings here are so repetitive, so mundane. And at times, boring. I can never seem to sit, and think about explaining something to the extend of illustratively detailing it.

But this sounds like me; Never satisfied with what I have, and what I've been achieving. Cause I know, I can do so much better.

Yes I have realised: I am a bit of a perfectionist. I don't see the beauty of things. Instead, I see the flaws of it more often, and I think of how I can improve it. Most of the time, it's about myself. I think about what I have lost out on, more often than seeing the things I have with me. Happiness, is not quite enough for me, i.e. I can never get enough of happiness. Maybe that's the reason why I am unsatisfied with my life. 

I highly doubt so, to be frank. I just feel I am much capable in achieving many wonderful things in life, and yes I am impatient about it. I am indeed, getting extremely agitated at how long I've been waiting. I know I am still young, but this youth, with time, it will fade away. And I want to revel in my youth. I, am getting very impatient.

So here it is, after such a long hiatus I am finally back. I just feel ashamed, to have shared this place with some people. Cause, it made me open up, to show how vulnerable I am. And I have realised, that no one can ever do this unless they love that person. And, I thought you did, the way I still do.

but this was not true. still, "don't it mean i love you"?