Dampener

It feels weird honestly. It's like, I'm neither here, nor am I there. There's a sense of detachment irking me right now. I've tried filling the void by listening to music. I've gone through lord knows how many different albums and genres. I've tried filling this with drawings, goin' through my plethora of movie collection. Yet, there seems to be no answer for this.

Answers answers, everyone wants them. That's how philosophy came about. The various methods of reasoning with oneself. Old men, groomed in shoddy robes and sporting graying beards, the look of a real thinking man. And they've spent most of their experienced lives sitting down and pondering, on why are things as such. They used their heads so much so, to the extend that most of them, invariably, turned bonkers. Or were they perceived to be luns by society, not being able to stomach their new ideas and ideology?


Really, what I'm doing right now is just finding an solution to the emptiness I'm currently feeling. Most of it up there's just mad-talk. It's me mind just let a little loose. I do admit, most of what I've said above is somewhat an excerpt of what I've hypothesised in this head of mine. However, I'm nowhere as close to declaring all that factual, simply on the merit that I have no existing proof in my hands.


I've got so many things I wanna do and become. And I feel that, as much as it's somewhat impossible to do all of it, I wanna do most of it. I want to experience as much as possible in this duration I have in my life. Obtain as much information as possible, participate in as much activities that interests me as possible, and just live. It's one life for crying out loud, fear only limits you.

I want to be limitless, even more so than the sky.

Cause I'm pretty sure the sky ends somewhere. I wanna beat that limit, and throw this mental thing called fear. Cause it is a psychological barrier, and I feel I'd do better without it. Of course, I'm gonna be smart about the things I do as well. But it's the experience of it all that adds colour and dimension to life. And I want my life, when I have a birds-eye view of it, to be the most vibrant and full-dimensional figure around. Then it'll be true to say,"I lived".

"A side-note"

Amidst all this talk about life
and the beauty of it
It's something to ponder

which would be better:
To live as a monster,
or to die as a good man?

:/