Amber
Looks like tonight might have been the night I've been finally caught. Not exactly red-handed, but news, as it always would, will spread like the wild fires of Indonesia. I don't quite know the outcome of it all. It might create a haze, it may create fruitful soil for new possibilities. Right now, I just don't know.
And like so much nowadays, I really don't quite know what the outcome would be. For 16 years there's always been a blueprint for me to follow. Everything's been laid out like a highway for me to go on, pit stops forming parts of the journey. But I guess the haze, fog, mist in front is really blurring my vision, and the headlights aren't strong enough right now for me to see what's ahead. For all I know, I would have to be the one making a new layout for the road in front of me. It's quite daunting honestly, and I'm trying to turn this fear, into excitement. I just need certainties, and right now, nothing's certain. Even the car I'm in feels lost, the drivers' anxious to see what's ahead.
I've really learnt quite a lot from my 4 weeks in that God-forsaken place. A lot. I guess that's what I always do, learn. A lifelong process many would say, and I don't disagree one bit. In fact, I agree, wholeheartedly.
I've met so many people, I've done so much. But there's still so much ahead, and it's quite exciting, and daunting at the same time. I'm not the most adventurous of people, but I always like to push my limits and boundaries. Cause the sky's the limit, and I'm still planted firmly, feet on Earth's earth.
I guess hope's been faltering in me. Everyday I feel a little more of myself getting lost in all of this. It's scary, cause I really don't know how to find it back. Find the person in me, the one I once was. It's depressing times there's no question about it. But I try to put it behind me, all of it, when I'm out. Cause all it ever does it just drag me down.
And I've been to hell, not quite back yet. I know though, it's within reach. Everyday's a new step on my ladder. And demons are clutching me at my feet, with all my strength I'm fightin' them, one by one. Some are quite strong, but sorry, not as strong as the will in me.
Imma fight on, I always have, I always will. I know, I trust in me.
And like so much nowadays, I really don't quite know what the outcome would be. For 16 years there's always been a blueprint for me to follow. Everything's been laid out like a highway for me to go on, pit stops forming parts of the journey. But I guess the haze, fog, mist in front is really blurring my vision, and the headlights aren't strong enough right now for me to see what's ahead. For all I know, I would have to be the one making a new layout for the road in front of me. It's quite daunting honestly, and I'm trying to turn this fear, into excitement. I just need certainties, and right now, nothing's certain. Even the car I'm in feels lost, the drivers' anxious to see what's ahead.
I've really learnt quite a lot from my 4 weeks in that God-forsaken place. A lot. I guess that's what I always do, learn. A lifelong process many would say, and I don't disagree one bit. In fact, I agree, wholeheartedly.
I've met so many people, I've done so much. But there's still so much ahead, and it's quite exciting, and daunting at the same time. I'm not the most adventurous of people, but I always like to push my limits and boundaries. Cause the sky's the limit, and I'm still planted firmly, feet on Earth's earth.
I guess hope's been faltering in me. Everyday I feel a little more of myself getting lost in all of this. It's scary, cause I really don't know how to find it back. Find the person in me, the one I once was. It's depressing times there's no question about it. But I try to put it behind me, all of it, when I'm out. Cause all it ever does it just drag me down.
And I've been to hell, not quite back yet. I know though, it's within reach. Everyday's a new step on my ladder. And demons are clutching me at my feet, with all my strength I'm fightin' them, one by one. Some are quite strong, but sorry, not as strong as the will in me.
Imma fight on, I always have, I always will. I know, I trust in me.
posted by Ravinder Singh at
02:02
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