Prelude

It's like a preview to something, the "beating around the bush" before the real deal. It's essentially the suspense before the surprise.
"Surprise".*scoffs*Or an ugly piece of news.

It's a method I like using, when it comes to many things. Writing, speaking. It gives you a rough idea before the picture is drawn, usually with words of course. Written, spoken, doesn't really matter. It does not necessarily have a link between the two, the preview and the actual piece of news. It's fascinating, though. I think it's a brilliant way of coming, conclusively, to the real deal.

*scroll down for the real deal*
that really cracked me up Wally

I have been wondering a lot lately. Wandering too. Pushing so much to others. At the end of the day it's a culmination of various inputs, but I do believe my plight has a lot to do with what I am surrounded by. And it's really the truth, that I get affected extremely easily, which is why my surroundings are of grave importance. It resonates in me if it's exemplary, and it stinks outta me if it, stinks. Right now, it's stomach-churning.

No one understands honestly. I make so many comparisons, and really, it's a pity. But the worse kind of "pity" is pitying yourself. It's pathetic. A small hint to myself. Just a small one. Big enough for me though, to start thinkin' of an excuse.

The truth is, there is a gulf in difference between me and us. That sometimes it's sad. But I love ya'll I honestly do. And I honestly don't differentiate ourselves because of that. Just help me though, to get outta this.


I've always praised the amount of belief I have in me. That no matter what I do not give up easily, cause I belief that one day something will happen. Nothing in particular, but generally something will.
Truth be told though, I don't have much faith me in now. Life's drained me of it. My life in particular. It's a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless. I still do belief in certain things though, and that's with reminders to myself too.

I guess I can't be blamed entirely for it. Cause I've been trying, my best to, work something out. And right now, I've given up. Cause it's dragged me too low. It's time I looked at meself too. On how I can help my. Cause having so much of faith in them has made them complacent.

It's my time now, right now.


I still love life though. I still do. It's a gift I'm thankful for, so grateful for. And it's one life, I'm gonna make sure I make the most out of it.


Monte darlin' play it with all your heart. As much as I do.
I love life with all my heart. As much as you do. As much as I do too.

I do, too. Love life. Love you.