Episodes

It's been a while since I've written something that's gut-wrenching here. Gut-wrenching, yet sweet. Maybe I've never written something like that, maybe it's been always. Still, I think it's been a while.

It's funny, I feel. Where inspirations come from. It comes in so many forms, different for everyone, for every occasion. Like for today's entry it's a combination of a couple of things. The song that's on repeat, and the occasion of the date. Which occasion, go figure. I love doin' this.

To say that I'm feeling affected by the date, might be both wrong and right. I do feel it partially, but I don't. And looking around me, where those celebrating it are in joyous moods and the ones that aren't are a blade away from suicide it's pretty scary I feel. I don't know, it might be a patience thing, one I feel I really do not have in abundance. But come to think of it, I have been quite patient. Just doing my thing, not worrying too much about the future. I guess it's a belief thing as well. Something I do have in infinite abundance.

I kinda have a picture of what I want. Certain traits, a certain character. Depth is definitely one of them, gosh I can't stand shallow people. And a deep sense of appreciation for things around. And to have similar likes. Ikes yikes.


And I'm standing here, peering out, with breeze as cool as a refreshing drink. And looking out to no life. Just sounds. And thinking, about how free kisses have been blown around. Episodes I feel, where at times I just want to stay in this shell on my back. To live in my own space, and to live in a place where I am surrounded by things that takes my breath away. And to just sit, and appreciate. To sit, and have my breath drawn out of me, pimples rising momentarily all around darkened skin.


I do have a picture of what I want. My goodness I actually have an example not many know who I'm talking about. But yes, if it's one person who is able to make me go soft all around it's her. And her voice. I can't get enough of her. "Sitting next to me on a beach, with nothing but the moonlight and a distant lamp illuminating the two of us, playing the guitar and singing to me." You should know who said this. Perfect mate perfect.

"1"

That's more than enough,
I could die right after.

I won't though,
cause I can't get enough.

You might have to try reviving me,
I'm sure you'd know how.

Just come close,
and whisper to me.

Tell me,
how much I mean to you,
cause I've shown you,
you're everything to me.

&I've given you me,
do whatever you want.
Kill me if you want to.

I know you won't though,
I know you won't
that's why I gave you me.

That is why,
I gave you,
Me.


"2"

Don't say a word,
just come over and lie here with me

Cause I'm just about to set fire,
to everything I see

I want you so bad,
I'll go back on the things I believe

There I just said it,
I'm scared you'll forget about me.

There, I just said it.
Happy Valentine's my valentine.