The Truth

Nothing much really.

It's been thought-filled days. Especially today, especially today. Hence the entry today.

Everyday teaches me a lesson. Be it good or bad, everyday teaches me something new. If it's not something new, it's an existing lesson that reminds me. And everyday fills me up with experiences I'm very blessed to go through. I know I keep mentioning the word bless very often these past few entries, and I'm not making it with reference to religion. I'm just blessed, lucky, honoured, in that context. I know I do preach a lot, religion is never my forté.

I do believe in a supernatural existence though. My theory is, if there wasn't a starter, like a cause, there would be continuation, like a reaction. To me it's baffling when I hear people talking all science. Makes no sense when you think about the fact that the world just came about like that. Even science needs materials to start out. Pfft.

Yes, I do know I preach, a lot. It may sound as if I'm the know-it-all, like I have experienced everything and I can tell everyone about it. It's never been like this. The only reason why most of the time I may look and sound this way is because I look at a situation as being more than just a normal situation. Some call it thinking too much, I prefer the word analysing. This analysis of situations makes me more wary of the causes and reactions, and it teaches me things. I take it as a learning process that teaches me something, and I use this to reflect on first, myself, then with people too. I may sound like a know-it-all. I'm not, I'd just like to help you see things more clearer.

It's been painful, a lot of times, to be like this. Even the closest see it differently, my intentions. Their feelings make them go against my "know-it-all" attitude. After all, who the fuck are you to say all this to me, they might be thinking. You don't know shit.

Well, I may not know much, but at times, I do know when you need help. And now, you do. And you're pushing me away. Because of someone else you barely know. Because the truth hurts, and you can't bear to accept it.
So many times I've been snubbed because of this. I've lost the loves of my life, I've lost the friends that mattered the most, I've lost the family I bled for. All because, no one could accept the truth. And I was to blame, for everything.
Until they realised that I was right, only for it to be too late for any reconciliation. Because, my heart was willing to die for you, and you killed it.

You should just fuck off. Cause you've killed it. Fuck you.



I was looking through some pictures posted on a social networking website. Some pictures were really nice. It got me thinking, when would be the day I'll get to say,"Hon, you look real awesome in that. Stunning."
Especially with my wonderful dream that was full of unnecessary distractions, it was a longing that started to manifest itself in me. It's nice though, to soothe myself with the thought that, no worries mate, it will come eventually. Yes mate, eventually.

This impatience is manifesting me, to a point it's driving me to lust and desires. It's nice in a way, I get to hold all of this in till the day something works out for me.

Just thinking of intimacy, I don't know, it excited me in a way. I'd prefer intimacy over anything else, just the idea of 2 people being so deep in their romance, it's the heart-throbbing high. I'm more open to discussing this because I feel that it's a true art form of romance. The intimacy partners share, truly sexy. Bite your lips hon, that's it. I'd show you more uses for that tongue.

I'm so high now. Fuck me.