Battle Pills

It really is kinda hard to swallow. I'm smashed, really. But I'm leading by example, too. And that, I can't show it, me being smashed. Because the one who's actually leader by default isn't putting up a proper act, and I'm supposed to show how it's properly done.

Smashed, fuckin' shattered. To be in the right all along, only for me to pull out because it's financially advisable to. And as much as I can mask this with really good comebacks, the reality of it is, I've lost. I've lost, even though I was right all along.

This place, as much as we show how civilised we've become, at the end of it, we're all savages. Yet, the reality of it is, not everyone succumbs to it. I, personally, try my best not to. I always feel that it takes courage to put up your hands and say Hey, my bad. And, it makes me feel silly cause, I've been this way most of the time yet, this demeanor O'mine really has made me look like a fool.

It's a question of endurance, and how long can I actually keep this up. But in actual fact, it really isn't me putting up an act because, this is me. This is who I am.

I don't quite know how to take this. What I know though, is that this is a learning point for me. And, as bitter as a battle pill it is to swallow, the fact is that we don't always win, no matter how innocent and truthful.

I just hate losing. Let's just forget about it.

You motherfucker.

"Naive"

It's about time, I realise the world ain't all about
Chirping birds and floating butterflies.
It's about time, I put myself first ahead of others.
Cause when I'm in pain, it's only because of my actions.
And I only have myself; It's not easy to face myself in
Times like these.