The Farewell Show

I really do think all these things I've been containing within myself is really destroying me. It feels like I'm lying in my own filth, my soul rotting and stinking the entire room. No one's in here, not even me. Cause I have been slowly losing myself. And I, am at the lowest point. I, am on the verge of something insane here. I, am on the verge of a meltdown.

Cause I've recently been told that I have a problem with everyone. A few minutes ago, actually, I was told a few minutes recently. That I create problems between myself, and everyone. Yet, it never has occurred to anyone that, I have always tried to be this different person. My, apparently, unconventional ways of arguments where I hardly ever bring up anything else but what's current. And yet, time and time again, I am single-handedly provoked by issues of the past, and I am provoked by topics that are of no relation to the present's happenings.

At times, I really do wonder: What's the use of my positivity when all it ever does it just bring hardship and sorrow to me, while making others feel comfortable with swimming in their own murky shit. I bear the brunt of a joke just to make sure the awkward silence is broken, just to ensure that everyone's comfortable. And yet I, I am the butt of the joke. I do not once complain about it, and I actually make myself enjoy it.

Right now, I feel like a stranger under my own skin. Cause I never thought I could degrade myself so much for the sake of others. It's time I stopped, cause I've seen the way this world works. And it's not a world I envisage myself in. I don't belong here. My world's over there, over yonder. Where the grass is green, the skies are blue, and the air is chilly.

I've got nothing left over here. And a man with nothing is not a man at all. Trust me, I"ll be gone. And trust me, you'll only realise it when I'm gone. Cause this place ain't for me. It ain't for anyone like me at all.

So I bid you farewell, stop me before I'm gone. Cause I never look back.

I never look back.

I've always said I never believed in suicide. Little did I know, I've already killed myself.

&Don't forget, it's you who let me in your life. And it was your actions that has caused this silence you talk about. Darl, I, for once, have nothing to blame myself on.

You're reading this. I know, you are. Nothing eludes me, you know that.
This is what I talked about; There is always good and bad in what I'm good at. You asked what's the bad.
This, that I know everything, is the bad.
That, this was we had, that's the good.
That, was the good. You know, that.