Family

What does that word mean?

"Anyone have the faintest of thoughts on that?" he asked.

"The world. That's what it means," the boy said, replying to his own question.

"Anyone wanna go against that 'faint' thought?" he chuckled.

"The obvious phrase I can use here is that, 'HEY! Without them you wouldn't be here.' "

However, let's go deeper, shall we?

I guess, in reality, the word family can mean alot. It's subjective. Some may agree with that thought above. Others may think different of it.

What you say is usually influenced by your experience of it. Your perception is based on experience

"Wanna go against that too?" he asked, with a cunning smile, a smile that showed determination.

To some, family is the only reason why they're still alive. "The power of family love", that's what they might imply to. To some, family is the only 'thing' that matters to them. Money, cars, babes, all these material things don't make up for the raw and filter-free emotions when it comes to hugging a love one after years of not seeing him/her. It doesn't make up for the drama that unfolds during dinner on the dining table. The laughter, the sharing of each other's day, the helping of passing the food around to others on the table, the tossing of the salad together. I can go on and on, and on. But I'm sure I've made my point.

To some, family is usually the first ones you look for when in need of, enlightenment. They would be the ones that will always be available no matter what. They would be the only ones available 24 hours a day. Because they love you. No matter how much they complain at the end of the day for putting things away for you just to rush down to help you, at the end, they only rushed down because they wanted to help you. Because, they love you.

"This sounds too naive now, doesn't it?" he asked me.

I nodded, in agreement.

"Yeah, this is the family we all want, deep down inside. Some of us are lucky enough, some of us, not," he said.

You see, this boy, he has a family. But at times, he just feels as if the word carries no meaning. Sometimes, he feels,"This is not what family is supposed to be like." This is his part:

You see, when you look at a lake, you see water. You only see what's on the surface, if the water is unclear, that is. You don't really see beyond the surface. The lilies, the frogs hopping around, the ducks quacking. All nice things. But sometimes, it doesn't tell you the whole story of the lake, and what lies within. Yeah you may say that, hey, if things are so bad in the depths of the lake, why are there so many things surviving on the surface? How come there are ducks and frogs and stuff? Well my friend, have you ever heard of this:

What you live with doesn't determine who you are.

Yes maybe there are monsters, or crocodiles under that water. Maybe there's an evil animal leader downstairs, telling all ducks that they are ugly, and mocking about their smell. That doesn't determine who you are. You may live in a town full of uneducated people, but does that mean you are one? Does that mean that you have to be one? Only you make that choice. Only you.

And for the case of this boy, his family, if he can call them that, at times, they make him feel forlorn. Their actions make this fella go on his knees and cry, with his hands buried in his face. He feels that at times, he's living with spies. Spies working for different organisations. They cannot say anything. Everything is top-secret.

"How much did you get for your pay this month dear?" "None of you damn business!"

"Who called you just now?" "Oh it was my, erm, my mom."

Everything's a secret. And till now he figures out why. Why are they called "family" when all they ever do is hide things away from each other? Isn't sharing and caring what families do? Isn't listening to others and helping each other what family is supposed to be? No secrets; Honesty, love, that's what family is. Sadly however, it isn't for his.

Yes they do go out and have fun. But sometimes it feels as if the going out part is just the surface of what his family sounds and looks like. Like the surface of the lake.

And yes, it does hurt him alot. Tremendously. Sometimes he sits there in his room, crying, looking at the plight of his family. How they try everything possible to keep the truth away. Yeah, sometimes the truth hurts, but nah, don't use that as an excuse to keep everything away. To him, that excuse is overrated. Because, that's what family is for. To share each other's pain. To share each other's hurt.

And now, as he looks on, in a way, as much as he feels that there's ought to be another way to make him feel like that, this situation he is in has made him a stronger character. It has opened his eyes, and as his friend once told him,"They make us don't wanna be like them". They have put so much of disgust when we look at them that now, we don't want to be like this to our future family. In short, we are the polished penny. They, the dirty, filthy unpolished one.

To him, all these has a learning point. He doesn't want to be like them. He knows what it's like to feel this way. That's why, they are his motivation to be better to his future family then they are to him.

Remember, people may call you names and such. But you don't have to believe in what they say. Because, they don't know you like you know yourself. Only you know who you are. In his case, he doesn't have to think that whatever his family is doing is "right". Because, his family's actions doesn't determine his actions.

He loves them, alot. His proud of everyone in his family. But how oh how he wishes that, they will forever be truthful to each other. No more lies and deceit.

He yearns that.