Love, Me

The only person I need now; It's not you, it's me.

The only person I'll continue needing; It's not you, it's me.

The only person I'll never need; It's you.

Dear you,

I guess the past has had a bearing on me for the past couple of weeks. Dreams, visions. They say,"Seeing is believing." Well, I kinda believe in it now.

It's been tough, this few weeks. You never seem to leave me alone, be it physically, or illusionarily. It seems that I can't really think straight after bumping into you. We don't bump into each other, we have never done that since that day. But when I see you, it's a sight I just dread seeing. Dread seeing because, I've gone on without you.

You left me there to rot, heartless as you were, but with reasons I see clearly now. But still, the manner in which you left me, it's something that lingers within me. It's my way of reminding myself that I don't, and will never need someone who was as heartless as you.

Yet, when I see you, that thought never seems to help me until I actually sit down and reason with myself. You killed a part of me, you killed me, because that part you killed was everything I was. It took me years to rebuild myself, and when I'm finally feeling as if you were just another person, you had to come in front of me to cause doubts in me. Doubts that I thought had been answered with conviction before.

Yes I did make my mistakes. Was I to blame? You were never there for me to correct me. Everything I did was right for you, you never questioned what I did. But when your patience ran thin, the points you brought up about me fell on deaf ears because of the leniency you gave me previously. Yes, I was a fool, I didn't know what to do. I thought we were doing things right, only for me to know that you just didn't want to hurt me. You agreed with whatever I did, only for me to know that you just didn't want to hurt me.
I was a fool. Was. Now, it's a different ball game.
But guess what honey? You ain't invited to this ball game.

I don't need you. A part of me may want you, but as a whole, I don't need you. I did that all on my own, and now, I'll get over this on my own.
I don't need you. I need me.

I was strong enough to go on without you. I'm stronger now.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

I wish that I don't ever have to see you again. But it's gonna be impossible considering, well, it's just impossible.

One thing though, I wish that you would have to go through as much as I have been going through. I tell myself that you never loved me, that's to make me despise you more. But I know, you wanted me as badly. And if my instinct tells me so, you still want me.

Remember what I said honey, you can't lie to me; I read you like a book.

I hope you read this. I don't need you, and I never will.

Love,
Me.